Natural Childbirth

I ended up having Annika Ruby "naturally" without having planned it that way. I put it in quotes only because when I think about it, it seems like it should be perfectly natural to have a baby and also have some painkiller. Luckily I had a super fast labor because I really don't think I could have handled any more. I was really mad about it. In fact, I told Andy on the way to the hospital that the first thing I wanted was an epidural. I told that to the nurses in triage as well. There was just no time so the whole time I was making a very big stink about "Where is the anesthesiologist?! I want him in here! How long will this take?" etc., etc.

So you may or may not ask, how did this happen? Even if you don't ask, I'll tell you. And as Andy will tell you I'll probably take way longer than I need to and involve a half dozen tangents.

I've been having contractions forever. I don't really know when they started. A couple months ago at least. I didn't have many early contractions with Caleb, but since "Braxton-Hicks" contractions are normal I just figured until they were bad and 3-5 minutes apart there wasn't anything to worry about. I did tell my doctor, but she wasn't concerned either. Last week they were getting worse. Thursday morning I woke up at 3:00 and couldn't go back to sleep because they were bothersome enough not to let me fall back asleep. It felt like menstrual cramps but I didn't want to take anything just in case this was it and taking Tylenol or something would just interfere. I even told Andy this might be it when he woke up that morning. However, as I went about the day they seemed to go away so I figured I would be going to the hospital on Tuesday to be induced as planned. Friday went normally other than I was SUPER tired since I hadn't really caught up on sleep. I laid around most the day and played with Caleb then fixed a fun dinner and ate a lot that night! I'm really glad I had a good dinner.

Saturday morning I woke up sometime before 7:00 and felt--WARNING skip this part if you don't want details--super constipated or like I had gas that just wouldn't come out. I even complained to Andy about my "gas." and I was frustrated and trying to figure out how to bend so I could feel better. My friend Kaedra, who is a trained natural childbirth teacher, later told me that's what transition, the second stage of labor soon before the baby is born, feels like. It makes sense considering I had the baby about three hours later. So I guess I woke up in transition and was used to having craps in my abdomen since I'd been having contractions for a long time. Then I started getting harder contractions. They got to the point a little after 7:30 where I thought I'd better start making plans for Caleb because this really might be it. I guess I didn't want to go to the hospital or make any arrangements if it wasn't for real. I called Kaedra and told her I'd had bloody show (don't ask if you don't know) and contractions and told her we would wait for Caleb to wake up and then I'd have Andy take him over.

Why was I waiting? I thought I had more time. Believe me, I would've hustled much more if I knew what was happening. I thought I might be at the hospital all day and that Caleb's life would be totally messed up in the next few days so I wanted him to have a descent night's rest and a good breakfast and as normal morning as possible and then take a happy toddler to friends. So we waited. Caleb woke up and I was packing the hospital bag. Andy showered and I showered. Contractions were getting worse. I realized we needed to hurry. I'd had breakfast out for Caleb and Andy started feeding him then I took over while he put stuff in the car. The contractions were bad enough I had to stand up and rest my head against something and Caleb was so worried. They were also getting closer together. Andy came in from the Car and saw me looking white by the counter and said he wasn't leaving me and would call Kaedra to get Caleb. Kaedra and her husband have the smallest carbon footprint on this part of the world than just about anyone I know. They only have one car and it's old and the doors don't even all open and I just felt better about leaving them with our car so the plan was for Andy to drop Caleb off with keys to the car and our apartment and then to ride his bike back. He'd already put the bike on and since I wanted Kaedra to have our car I insisted that he take Caleb over and assured him I'd be fine. I just had 90 second contractions to deal with and I could handle those. It's true and I did. I looked at the dirty dishes in the sink and knew my parents were on their way. My mom never leaves dirty dishes in the sink. Our house has been free of them since she's been here. However, I couldn't bring myself to do the dishes. I just made it from one contraction to the next and when Andy came home we headed out. Andy will add in here that I had to do my hair and make-up. Just for the record, I did have every intention of doing my hair and make up because I knew we'd take pictures that everyone would look at and I wanted to look as best I could in the pictures. I did blow dry my hair but not anyway fancy--just so it wasn't wet and curled the bangs I recently acquired because they dried really funky. The curling job wasn't even good since it was done between contractions and all I put on of make-up was lipstick.

I had to wait for a contraction to pass before getting in the car. I personally think the sitting position in the car or a chair is the worst possible position for dealing with a contraction. So when we got to the hospital and Andy hurried to grab a wheelchair for me I refused to ride in it because I couldn't stand the thought of more contractions in that position. I was standing leaned up against the car and thinking, "I've got to make it to the second floor of the hospital, can I do it?" I walked into the lobby slowly and held onto Andy. Then I needed to throw up. I had only had some juice and a granola bar and Andy grabbed a nearby trash can and I threw up in it. Andy said it was at that point that he knew we were in trouble. I was audibly moaning and had just thrown up and the people at the desk were looking in our direction but no one said anything or stepped forward. Andy was a bit irritated and spoke up, "Can someone help us here?" and a guy came over with a wheelchair. They later gave us gift certificates to Chili's for what we considered a bit of bad service. Later when Andy and I were talking about it in front of a nurse, the nurse asked if any of them were health professionals. My response was, "I'm not a health professional and I think I still would have offered help to someone obviously in labor and throwing up and moaning in the hospital lobby." The nurse agreed. Really we're not upset about it, but it is part of a good story. St. Luke's hospital is a good hospital.

This time I accepted the wheelchair and Andy pushed as quickly as he could up to the second floor. Oh, I failed to mention that Andy ran a stop light getting me to the hospital. I think it made him feel really manly to run a stoplight with his wife having contractions in the passenger seat. Okay, so back to the hospital. At St. Luke's you have to go to triage and be checked by a nurse to make sure you're really in labor and then sent up to labor and delivery. Lame. I have a friend who didn't get an epidural because she was held up in triage. Thinking of this when the lady at registration started asking me questions, I told her I was preregistered and knew I was in labor, did I really have to go through triage? I did. I didn't like nurse at triage. She really irritated me. She told me I needed to get undressed. I knew I needed to get undressed. I just couldn't move that fast. She came over to help and told me to lift my foot. I tried the best I could. All the motion made my abdomen really not feel good and it was really hard to get undressed. She told me when I lifted my foot up that "You need to do better than that." No, I can't and even if I could I don't want to. I really didn't like this nurse. Andy was much gentler and more helpful. I finally got into the hospital gown and the nurse checked me out. At that point, the nurse got down to business--I was between a 7 and an 8 and the baby was, I can't remember how she said it, but really close. She called in help and told me I had to look at her. I told her I didn't want to and asked why. She said so I could concentrate. I didn't think it helped at all and I didn't want to--so I didn't. I was being pretty stubborn and didn't want to do a lot. By that time I was seriously asking about the anesthesiologist and doing my best to make it happen. They told me they didn't know if there was time. The nurse that did my IV was good and much more soothing than the other lady. I liked her. I think they did the IV just to appease me since I was hollering at them for the epidural. They all knew there was no time for it. Luckily they ignored the lady coming after us to sign consent forms. The nurse I liked looked at me and said, you give your consent, right? I said yes.

They wheeled me really quickly up to labor and delivery. Oh, while in triage, the nurse I didn't like said they might be delivering the baby there and didn't know if the doctor would get there in time. It was Saturday morning but the doctor on call did make it to deliver my baby.

We were trying to figure out time frames. I got a call from our real estate agent at 8:58 and Andy was still dropping Caleb off when she called. So we must have come somewhere around 9:20ish. I really don't know. It takes a little less than 10 minutes to get to the hospital. Then it took me a bit in the lobby and to get in and out of the car. So I really don't know when they checked me in triage, but I'm betting I delivered about 20 minutes later, possibly less. I delivered at 9:58. (Andy couldn't remember when he wrote the blog entry.) Whatever it was, it was SUPER fast.

So in labor and delivery I screamed louder than I knew was humanly possible. I was so mad that I couldn't have the epidural and had no choice but to have it naturally. Luckily Kaedra had given me a crash course (I'd told her that I'd heard it's good to be prepared for not getting an epidural even if you are planning on it) and the things she'd told me were incredibly helpful. Mostly I was just really mad about it. So I decided to do whatever I wanted since I was stuck in this unplanned situation and yelling and screaming seemed to help deal with the pain. Andy was amazing. He had no prep at all for being a labor coach and had had no mental preparation for dealing with a wife in labor with no drugs. You know, the whole time he never said anything that bugged me and he did everything right. A few times he reached down to rub my shoulder but he was so tense that I think his tenseness transferred with his touch and so it was not helpful. You don't waste a lot on unnecessary words (probably the only time in my life) when you're in labor, so I told him, "Don't do that." And he didn't. He just held my hand and was encouraging. At one point I told the nurse that I didn't like that I didn't like her and she wasn't helping and looked at the other nurse I liked and said I liked her. So the nurse I didn't like stopped saying anything and the other nurse started being the one walking me through things. The doctor was good. Shortly after arriving in labor and delivery I yelled, "something's going on down there." I figured it was baby coming but I was still telling myself there would be time for an epidural so I really didn't want it to be true. Someone responded that yes, it was the baby coming and it was time to push. I told them I didn't want to and possible said I wasn't going to. Andy said it took a while for them to get me into position to push. I refused to turn and put my feet in the stirrups. Finally someone helped and I did move where I was supposed to. I did push and screamed since I thought I helped with the pain. The doctor told me very nicely that I could yell if I wanted but it would only make it take longer. If I wanted it to go faster I needed to hold my breath in and push the baby out. That was actually the best thing she could've said because I had been thinking to myself that I didn't know how long I could do this, and again just mad because there was no turning back and I HAD to do it whether I wanted to or not. So I tried to follow the doctor's advise and not scream, but just push. People have asked how long I pushed for. I don't know. Not long at all. It was really fast. Later I talked to my mother-in-law who had to have C-sections for all four of her kids and she told me she actually went all through labor with Dave but finally did have to have a C-section but not until after hours of very painful labor. I really don't know how she did it. Then Andy's sister pushed for 4 hours with no pain killer! Alisa, if you've read this far, I really, really, really, can't imagine that. 4 hours. My neighbor back home was in labor for 48 hours with one of her kids and still had two more after that (this was over 30 years ago). She told me she really thought she was going to die. I believe she really did feel that way. I really don't know how woman all over the world and through eons of time have gone through this. It's crazy.

However, it does end. One of the most encouraging things was when Andy told me he could see her head. Yes, for those of you who know Andy well, you would be incredibly impressed to know that he looked down and he saw part of her head and was actually excited not passed out cold on the floor. It's really quite a miracle. That made me so excited I was able to push the rest of the way in the way a runner who realizes they're in the lead can push hard at the end of a race. It was sooo encouraging. Then she was out and it was the biggest sense of relief that I can possibly describe. For any of you planning on natural childbirth, I think this is what makes mothers go through it again and why mothers who have had children without drugs look back on it fondly. It really was the most wonderful thing in the world to have them hand her to me and lay her on my chest. I had forgotten about afterbirth and stitching me up and cramping of the uterus back to it's regular size, and was a bit disappointed when I realized I wasn't completely through, but it was amazing nonetheless.

It was way different than with Caleb. With Caleb I had been thinking, "Okay, I'm supposed to feel something wonderful when I see him," and you know, I think because I had this undefined ideal of what I was supposed to feel, that I couldn't meet it. I looked at him and it was all just surreal. I think that is a good thing about actually feeling the pain of labor. You're so glad it's over and it's so comforting to hold your little one and recover from the trauma you've just been through. Also with Caleb, he'd pooped in the womb so they had to clean him out and I didn't really get to hold him right away like with Annika. I hope Caleb isn't negatively affected for life because his mother just felt surreal when he was born and took a while to feel comfortable with a baby. I love him so much now and think he is the greatest kid. Because I've loved watching him grow and seeing him develop it's been so much easier to bond with Annika. I know she's a little person and am excited to watch her grow. I was just so nervous with Caleb. My mom says maybe that's why a lot of oldest children are high-strung. :) Maybe.

Well, that is the end of my very long entry. I'm glad it all happened the way it did. I realize I'm pretty lucky and am very grateful. And if any of you want to go naturally I really recommend whatever training my friend does. I'll get the name of it and get back to you if you're interested. I think it's very good.